2016 Update

Hello Everyone!  It's 2016 and it only took me just over a month to write my first post!  Not bad considering my track record lately.

Let's start with a follow-up....

...in the last post I mentioned wanting to get involved with charity work.  Turns out getting into volunteer work here in The Netherlands isn't easy.  It's almost like taking on a side job, contracts, large commitments, insurance... c'mon!  What ever happened to having a couple hours of spare time a month and being able to just go and help people or animals?  Sure I know it's for every one's safety, but they are also deterring usable people.  My husband seemed to find a good solution, and managed to execute his idea.  So the one person not talking about it was the one that actually did something!  (He also got lucky they came to the door looking for help.)  My husband and daughter signed up to walk around the neighborhood and collect money for the "hersenstitching".  (A charity that helps with brain related diseases.)  Unfortunately my daughter & I were sick that week and he had a couple large deadlines, so they weren't able to hit up as many houses as planned but they still played their part.

...another similar post was about helping out.  I can at least say I have been doing a small portion to help.  I have been going through boxes and boxes of baby clothes and making different piles -  sell - donate to a 2nd hand shop - and donate to a charity.  The charity donations have been easy, literally put the stuff in a bag and deposit the bag in the collection bin in our neighborhood.  It might be easy but it's good to know we are helping a baby/toddler somewhere in the world.  Dealing with the rest of the stuff is going to be a bigger project, and an upcoming post.

...normal life abroad... yeah, last time I checked we were still normal, oh wait, tax season is rolling around again.  No, in that we're not normal... because being Americans abroad we get to pay taxes twice just because the US says so!  Not fair, and definitely separates us from so many other cultures.  (Complaining about an unfair tax system and FACTA, will have to wait for the appropriate future post.)

...where have we been... we moved from the city to a small village back in the summer.  In many ways it really suites us and has changed our lives for the better.  In other ways, the distance from everything has proven to be a challenge on many occasions, but I guess with the good comes the bad.  We love the house and surrounding landscape, but wow, I had no idea keeping up with a house and yard was this much work.  Remember, we moved from a small two bedroom apartment to a house more than twice the size.  At times keeping up with it all is quite overwhelming, but I wouldn't trade it for the apartment again!  I guess less complaining and more working will do the trick.

...how are the recipe clippings and cooking going, well, worse than ever!  I've stopped collecting recipes because I have come to realize I just can't cook well.  My cooking skills have actually regressed since moving, maybe it's lack of time or not understanding the oven here, either way wow!  Every meal gets served with an apology and it's growing quite tiresome.  A wife should be able to cook, especially a stay-at-home mom.  I never thought my cooking skills would contribute so much to how I feel about myself, but it's just getting embarrassing.

Well, after re-reading this I am wondering why the follow-up on everything has been more negative than positive???  Sometimes we just try and do everything, and we all know that's impossible.  Probably time to stop spreading myself so thin!  Have a great day!

Bye! Dag! Adios! Namaste! Salut!

:) Danica

Anyone still there?

HELLO!!!  I know it's been a while, ok 5 months, but here I am again.  Trust me I think of the blog often but it takes a certain dedication I just don't have right now.  Plus everything that pops in my head is either too personal or too normal to post.

The main reason I took up blogging was to share my normal life abroad with others throughout the world.  And to help nearby expats find their way.  But now that I no longer live in a major city, I feel like I have nothing new to offer.  I am out of touch with big events in Eindhoven, and things that happen near the village I live in are too small to involve the international community.  But one thing I do have is 13 yrs of built up knowledge, so I can always fall back on that!

I think one of the neatest things that has happened to me through blogging was being contacted by a woman in Argentina who was going to move to The Netherlands.  She had questions about elementary school and life here in general.  We ended up emailing back & forth until she moved  And the other day as we sat having coffee together, watching the kids play, I was just amazed that our new found friendship started from this small blog.

Since I am not class mom this year at school I feel like I have had less opportunities to help out the new moms in the area.  But luckily my daughter is quite social and I met a few newbies recently.  Actually have a couple new play dates (inc coffee for the moms) lined up.

I find it so fascinating to meet people from all over the world.  To hear about what is normal to them, and share our cultures with each other.  It's also amazing just how many people take that step and move abroad, far from what they understand or are comfortable with.

Must admit though, my move here was quite cushioned considering my American husband was raised here and spoke Dutch.  And all of my in-laws are here.  I take my hat off to those expats who move without that cushion... who knows, maybe one day that will be us too.

I'll close for now, and fingers crossed that I post again this month!

Bye! Dag! Adios! Namaste! Salut!

:) Danica

Changes, Changes

I promise I'll fill you in on our great summer, but I figured the best thing to do would be getting content on my blog again!  What's going on in my part of the world right now... well, we're on to a new phase.  Changes, changes...

See, for the last couple of years my daughter has attended Dutch schools.  Which re-immersed me into full-on Dutch culture.  As an expat your involvement with your surrounding culture can fluctuate, especially depending on who you associate yourself with.  Obviously if your kid attends a local school, well, you end up spending a lot of time with the locals.  As much as I love the Dutch or feel integrated, there are still moments when you remember you're foreign.  Even though Dutch & Americans look similar there are still underlying differences.  Besides the way I dress or my accent, interests also vary.  Standing at the Dutch school being one of the few foreigners was hard sometimes.  They don't mean to exclude you, which makes you have to work twice as hard at being outgoing and making friends.  They don't mean to stare or not quite understand what you're saying, hey Dutch is a hard language.  Needless to say it happens, and it can play with someones confidence.  All the while as a parent you're trying to keep your head up for your kid, be strong, and not show that you also feel anxious... telling them it's ok if the kids don't want to play or they're not being left out we just have different priorities.  I think both my daughter & I were looking forward to the summer.  A nice break to just be who we are for a while, Americans living in The Netherlands, living a mixed cultured life.

Since our daughter was born we knew we wanted to put her into the international school here.  My husband attended there, and many of his friends also.  The education level seems higher, it's in English, and it exposes the kids to the world we know - a world full of different cultures.  I think my daughter & I both took a breath of relief knowing we could speak English, finally being able to express ourselves as who we are.  (Your true personality doesn't always shine through when you're trying to communicate in a 2nd language, unless you're extremely fluent... often my sarcasm was confusing for the Dutch because they didn't realize I was joking, oops.  And as for my American husband, he's been dealing with this for over 25 yrs, it doesn't phase him at all.)

But then the 1st day of school came, and to be honest, it's a whole new set of challenges.  My daughter said it was hard to talk to the kids in class because they don't speak English.  All I could tell her was that they will learn, and never to forget how she felt at school trying to communicate in Dutch.  The school is beautiful and will offer many new opportunities for all of us, but as I stood there waving her off it truly sunk in that we're starting over again.  Very few faces we recognize, and with such a mix of cultures it was as if we were no longer in Eindhoven, wow there are a lot of foreigners in the area!  So now that we no longer stick out, except in the fact we've lived here so long and speak Dutch, it's now time to find out what international life is all about.  What was important to the kids & parents at her school last year is completely different this year. 

Being day 2 of this new phase, I'm not really sure what it will bring.  All I know is we're going to do our best to mix our Dutch life & our international life.  Not losing old friends, and definitely making new friends.  Being careful not to immerse ourselves so much in this new international life that we forget we're still in The Netherlands, and it's their country, and we need to be sensitive to that.  So much is swirling through my head, I've had trouble sleeping.  Despite all of the major changes throughout my life, I don't actually handle change well.  All I can do is what I've always done... chin up, smile on my face, and sign up for everything to get the best involvement.  Wish us luck!

Bye! Dag! Adios! Namaste!

:) Danica

Expat Summer Fun

I originally wrote this post for the Forgetful Momma blog, I was going to be a guest blogger while she was on vacation... in the end it never happened but I didn't want to waste it!

Today's post is about entertaining an expat child abroad... how do you do it?  Easy, it's just like entertaining a kid in The States, ha-ha!  Before our daughter came along we had a crash course in kids with our nieces, so we luckily started learning the ins and outs early.  Now that my tot is 3yrs (almost 4, that's important) it takes more & more to keep her entertained.  She's used to a fairly full schedule between preschool & swimming lessons, so of course as a fellow SAHM it falls on my shoulders to keep her busy over the 6 week summer break from school.  And that I've been doing, even though it means cleaning and exercising (my usual routines) are falling by the wayside. 

I first established a base plan, what's free... well, we can swim at the city pool free the entire summer as long as we go on the day she usually has swimming lessons.  That's one day of the week booked!
 
My nieces need a babysitter occasionally throughout the summer since their parents work..., this means entertainment for the kids, the dogs, and it's free.  Another day of the week booked! 

Due to a good mixture of friends and acquaintances (Dutch & international), it's easy to schedule a play date at one of the many playgrounds.  Another day of the week booked! 

This means we already have 3 fixed activities, which I find is enough, it leaves us with just enough flexibility for spontaneous plans and yet enough scheduled I have an answer when she starts asking what we're doing next. 

With only 2 days to spare (weekend doesn't count because Dad's around and he's entertaining enough) I generally try and find something extra special to do.  We have a lot of large indoor/outdoor play centers in the area which she loves.  (I'm trying to think of a comparison, maybe Chuck E. Cheese's mixed with McDonald's plus a normal playground thrown in, can you envision it?)  I'm known for being frugal so a friend and I are thinking about signing up for a family pass so we can take the kids at a discounted rate for the rest of the year (this means entertainment rain or shine).

Others ideas I have in mind are pretty normal, like any other American, they just happen to be taking place 4,000 miles away!  There are zoos & museums, even walks in the woods with our dog, definitely considered the beach for a day or even just an afternoon at a lake, oh yeah, going to the movie's will also take place some time over the next month (her 1st movie theater experience last year was not a success).  And when the energy, enthusiasm, and money run low, there's always play time at home, Barbie's or the iPad are high on my tots to-do list.

Now that you know what we're up to this summer, how do you plan on keeping your kids entertained in your neck of the woods?

Good Bye & Good Luck

As an expat you make a wide variety of friends & acquaintances in your new country, ones native to the land you live in and then of course other expats.  When I moved to The Netherland over 10 yrs ago at first I acquired friends, mostly my husbands old friends & their girlfriends.  It didn't take me long to start making my own friends though, some of which I still see.  But for the most part my friends were Dutch, and it took me a while to realize that.  It wasn't until my daughter came along and I had to start seeking out activities with kids that I started making my own expat friends.  At first the relationships seemed ideal, no obligations other than occasional play dates, this fit into my schedule well.  But of course when you're seeing someone on a weekly or bi-weekly basis you can't help but get to know them better.  And of course a few of these people actually became friends.  When they talked about the possibility of leaving The Netherlands because of their husbands jobs it all seemed so far away.  I guess I figured I knew what I was getting in to and I was o.k. with temporary friends.  But now that a couple have actually left, permanently, off to new adventures, lives, jobs, & countries, it's actually sinking in.  The first one that left went fairly easy, I was able to say goodbye, I didn't mention to my tot it was the last time, I just let her enjoy her time with the little boy she had grown so fond of.  But this last friend to move has hit a little harder.  The way our schedules worked out we didn't even get to say goodbye properly, in person.  It's making me question if I can actually handle temporary friends.  Part of me knows I have no choice, being an expat and involving your kid in international activities means contact with people that are just temporarily here.  It's something I just have to accept.  I have to remember the fun we had and be sure to stay in contact, who knows where we'll all end up in the future.  So, I guess, it's good bye & good luck, and until the next time.