Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Too Personal

Taking things too personal... it's one of my bad traits. This entire post stems from two events, each of which happened in around 30 seconds but have played on my mind for a useless amount of time! Event one - our neighborhood bulletin printed an insult about my street. Event two - my daughter's preschool teacher lent me a book to read over the school vacation. Both seemingly meaningless yet both equally bothered me (most men reading this post are already rolling their eyes by now). How did this come about... taking things too personal??? Is it because I'm too sensitive?  Is it because I'm selfish and think things revolve around me? Is it from years of dealing with passive aggressive people who don't dare to be direct? Is it because I'm a woman (now the feminist are rolling their eyes)? Is it because I'm self-conscious? No matter what the reason, it happens, but it is something I'm working on. You're probably wondering how the above events led to this post. 
Event one : I've proudly lived on my street for the past 6 yrs and I take it personal when the neighborhood bulletin prints insults about it. How can I possibly feel for a street, it's ridiculous, but I do! Sure I've noticed the decline (thanks recession), but that doesn't mean we're an embarrassment. Just so you understand what happened, the bulletin wrote an article about a new shop on my street and this is what they said, "Renew Fashion lijkt een aanwinst voor de straat die toch een beetje het 'ondergeschoven' kindje van de Bergen lijkt te blijven".  Basically they're saying our street is neglected, almost not worthy of belonging to the neighborhood, and that the new clothing store is a plus for us.  Nice, we're not worthy of belonging to the high-brow neighborhood, "De Bergen".  I take this personal, we're part of the neighborhood, yes we're on the outer rim, but that's good, we don't get the high traffic of the stores and restaurants, yet we're close by.  Our street doesn't get shut down for every event, yet we can still see them from our window.  I also take it personal because we're trying to sell our apartment and this isn't a great advertisement.  It bugs me so much I almost want to contact the bulletin and complain... if you know me well, you know I'll write a complaint letter or email in a blink of the eye!  Companies should know where they can improve (I promise I'm not a super negative person, I just notice things).  I am also highly aware I could have translated it incorrectly, it wouldn't be the first time I was offended over something that I misinterpreted! 
Event two : my daughter's preschool teacher lent me the following book - How To Raise an Amazing Child the Montessori Way.  What is she saying, does she think I need some guidance raising my kid?  Does she think I don't understand the Montessori system?  Was she just happy to find an English book she could share with me?  Does she too see how amazing my daughter is?  I tried not to take it too personal.  But on the walk home from the preschool I called my husband to run it by him (he's more level-headed than me and not so emotional) and he basically said I'm being crazy... something I hear often from many people!  Wow, as a parent it's hard when people try and help, it's so easy to take it too personal and take it negatively when really they're just trying to share something or speaking from experience.  No matter what, I'll do my best to read the book, and hopefully learn something.  It never hurts to get a little advice, even if it steps on some toes.
All in all, especially after re-reading this post, I can definitely say I'm being oversensitive and taking things too personal, oh yeah, and being extremely negative.  And the only true thing I can blame it on is, caring too much so I take everything to heart.  It's important to me to be able to step back and analyze my opinions/views/decisions... to look at things from an outsiders point of view... and to be aware of my faults.  It's how I grow, it's how I understand myself and others, and it's a tactic that has helped me through many situations.  (I'll try and make the next post a bit more light-hearted!)

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